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Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.

FrostbiteNumbness
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.

It spreads, like fire,
Like ice.
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
Pat –pat
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.

I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
Up…
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?

What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
Hello?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –

Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival

(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.

Battle in my MindEat.
Don't eat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
Show me.
No!
I love you..

Happily AloneHonesty,
She does not have,
Personalities,
She has many of them.

A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.

If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.

She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.

She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
No color,
nobody else.

Then,
she will smile,
why,
because she is truly happy alone.

She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.

In The Daylight

In The Daylight

A false downfall
An unexpected revival

Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness

Life...redefined
Death...redesigned

In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
-
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest

I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic

I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid

A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete

Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat

wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

Honesty Written

from the

heart.

No eraser.

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

PerfectEver had the feeling where you can't stop looking at a picture?
Your gorgeous face makes me smile
Go weak at the knees
Makes me giggle like a little girl

Those morning texts
All day conversations
Random silly things like that
Make me smile

I see the led light flash the colours I've set for when I get a message from you
My heart flutters
My cheeks flush
I go deaf to the world when I'm reading a message from you

If your down
I'm always there for you
I know you don't want to worry me
I know you want me to smile
But I'm always here for you
No matter how you feel
I'd prefer to help
Than for you to be down

Your gorgeous eyes
Are mesmerising
You

Browse More Like This

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More from ~99colourful

Self EsteemI haven't realized this
For a while
But I found
That I'm perfect the way I am.
I may get annoying sometimes
But who doesn't?
I may not fit in with
The longest hair
The same clothes as the other girls
The same bubbly personality
Or perfect weight.
I'm still original
In an abstract way.
And I don't even know
What my exact face is.
Just a reflection
Or a picture.
It doesn't define me.
I know who I am
Without other things telling.
I may seem shy
But I have the friends I already want.
And if I feel curious if they find me
Too odd to be around,
They are odd too
And they haven't left yet.
So really.
If I feel discouraged,
I should remember to read this.
If I question:
My height, weight, personality
Appearance, style, etc...
I should remember
If I should change,
I would only want to.
Because I am original
And the only way you can change me
Is if I actually want to change.

Brief summaryNo matter how many poems I make, how many songs I compose, how many drawings I draw; this will still go unfixed.
This is not a poem or a story or a journal. I am just writing this because I am sick of writing something on the same subject. Just with different parts of it and different verses. The poetry comes out nice, but the amount I make I will regret. Because I will run out of ideas and I hate to see all my deviations just about a time I felt confused as hell and sad.
Okay, maybe this is a story. Whenever I think of myself sad and confused, my problems aren't as worse as most others. I mean mine are at a small. I'm just confused. Confused and left out sometimes. My problems seem so small at times because I actually have an ability to fix them. I'm just stuck on what to do. What I am or what I want just feels confusing. I don't know what I want in life right now, because I'm left alone too much that I over think it all. I sometimes feel like I'm some an

Attack (short story)They both stood there in the kitchen. Looking at the menace they were facing off in. They both stood, looking identical as twins. But one with magenta hair and a plaid wife beater. Staring rancorously at their opponent, immediately striking in a stance of strife. One wielding a golden sword, the other with a pair of fists.
Their opponent grinned in an ever so grim way, exposing her spiked teeth. Eyeing with her jaded pair of cat like eyes, she clawed the two down.
"It's pathetic," she said "You two against me..." Smiling even more "...You know you can't escape the past," she said pacing in a small circle. "It'll come to haunt you even more," she directed at the dark haired girl.
Her past was not something to be reminded of, and in this very moment, it struck her enough to feel it like it was weighing down on herself.
A heinous trick to distract the girl from being defended, she was soon to be stru

ConfusionTwisted turns.
Up and down.
I feel blank
Hallucinating sound.
What do you want me to do?
What do you expect?
I'm shy as hell
That I'm such a wreck.
Decisions aren't simple.
Breaking down with one
Instead of multiple
Isn't as fun.
But also confusing.
My mind isn't set
To let go of everything
That I regret.
I'm not sure what to search for.
A goal. A love. A change.
I don't want to change my image
But I still wanna rearrange.
But my head is stuck
On what I should do.
Will I be sad
If I become new?
I want I sign
Because I can't choose.
If I do it alone
I always lose.

GlassesOne of my sentimental objects.
Because I wake up everyday and use them.
Technically something I use in almost any situation.
Memories of wearing this.
I would put them on and take it off.
Sometimes others take them off for me.
Sometimes they ask to look through them or wear them.
It always felt special wearing them.
Even if I do look like a dork,
I think of them as hidden windows to my eyes.
Which is exactly what it is.
And if I lived everyday without them on...
Let's just say it would feel less special
Hiding my eyes.
Revealing them to another felt like a great surprise.
But maybe it'd be a good thing
To not hide my eyes anymore.
Maybe people can actually see beauty in my eyes
Other than just smeared frames.

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Submitted: November 30, 2012
Submitted with: Sta.sh Writer

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Why I'm shy

by ~99colourful, Nov 30, 2012, 12:47:12 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I am the shy person. I am the one who says nothing. The one who tries to keep all thoughts and emotions all sucked up, because no matter what, someone in this room of people will probably be offended. Nothing to do with religion, politics, or war. But still others would be offended or won't listen.

Because I am different. I don't constantly like to say "swag", and I don't have to like "gundam style" or the new styles today, but apparently I am forced to or I would be alienated. No I don't play sports anymore, I tend to be in the studies of phenomenon. I don't go to lots of parties or constantly hang at the mall. I would probably stay home and draw since my friends are usually busy. I don't have alot of friends, because I am a loner. So I'm not popular.

Yes I listen to different music styles. Yes I cosplay. Yes I am different than most girls, because I am a tomboy. And I can't say all this, because I'm an empath, because you'd probably feel offended by me and the guilt would pain me to death. So I am sorry if all this would anger you if I didn't like certain things, but you all wanted me to answer why I'm shy. But I hope that doesn't stop us from talking with each other.

Why I'm shyby ~99colourful

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

©2012-2013 ~99colourful

People see how isolated I'm acting and how I hardly talk at times. If I don't tolerate certain things like these, people would think I'm crazy.

~IcarusNocturne Nov 30, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

Ahhh We're all alike in a sense :3
I like being who I am because Im unique and different! and so are you so I like you :3

Reply

~99colourful Nov 30, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Thats hard to say if I like how I'm different. There are times when I do and when it causes trouble.

Reply

~IcarusNocturne Nov 30, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

Nahhh its life. Sometimes trouble comes our way and all we can do is brave it.

Reply

~99colourful Nov 30, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Yeah. It's hard at times. Just everyone is busy and offline, except you though

Reply

~IcarusNocturne Nov 30, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

I try my best to be on all the times XD

Reply

~99colourful Nov 30, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

That's kinda good. I sometimes I wish I could pry myself from this computer, since there are times I just want to live life, but everyone is busy. But at least you're here :3

Reply

~IcarusNocturne Nov 30, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

Lol :3 I'll be there for you ^-^

Reply

~99colourful Nov 30, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Same here ^-^

Reply

~kenkenspatz Nov 30, 2012 Hobbyist

I'm almost the same as you--I mostly observe those around me, and sometimes don't talk outside my group of friends.

I hate myself because I can hold grudges for no apparent reason--I've tried almost all my life to let go of empty, seething bitterness. I'm easily offended, even though no harm is meant.

I try to stand up for myself, but all I really do is shrug it off an repress my feelings.

Healthy? No. Trying to overcome? Yes.

And people get offended all the time--whether you're the nicest you can be, or the meanest you can be.

That's why I'm ready for college because the things that high school does to people >.>

Reply

~99colourful Nov 30, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Exactly! I want to post this to my facebook to let people know, but since I'm an empath and if their response isn't good, I will be LITERLY pained with guilt. So I dunno what to do

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